Fear and Worry

When I was pregnant with Joan I spent a decent amount of time worrying about things that I shouldn't have.

You see, based on the information we received from doctors and others in the healthcare field when we got her diagnosis, it made me feel like Joan was an unfortunate tragedy, a freak of nature. Defective. Undesirable.

Even Google results for Trisomy 18 depicted disturbing images of children with deformities. And even more concerning descriptions of all possible physical defects. Organs on the outside of the body was one of the most frightening.

It scared me. It caused me to worry more than I should have.

I worried about what Joan would look like. What kind of disabilities she might have. How others would react to her.

As first time parents, we didn't even know how to care for a healthy newborn. How would we care for one with special needs?

I wish I hadn't worried that much. There was no need to.

Joan was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  Maybe I'm slightly biased as her mother, but she was precious.

I'm not sure where Google and the doctors get their information, but they should include a more accurate depiction. Pictures of Trisomy babies that look just like other babies. Adorable.

Tell us that they have the purest smiles and bring such joy to their families. Because they do.

Tell us that there is no way to accurately predict any child's disabilities, or abilities.

Why not believe -- encourage -- that each of us are limitless? There are no bounds to what we can achieve. Many children have far surpassed expectations, or limits, imposed on them. Though some may need adjustments or have challenges in certain areas, they undoubtedly have strengths in other areas.

Tell us that no matter what challenges we may face, there are others who have walked similar paths before us. There are groups that can support us, and other parents that will be an inspiration and give us hope and strength.

I wish I had found this site while I was carrying Joan.  It may have made me less scared.  The unknown is always scarier than the reality.

These are photographs of Trisomy 18 babies.  Let's raise awareness.  Eliminate fear.